Vast

Help me unlearn a need for control.  Help me unlearn surety.  Let freedom flow from deep wells, and then through me.  So that I feel it.  Realizing that I didn't start it.  Help me to give way to it.  To let it wash over, in, through me.  Let my mind find nothing else.  Realizing that the waters are infinitely deep.  I need not worry that I'll ever be able to stop discovering.  The waters pouring, yet still.  Deep. Full of grace.  Filling the space between.  And then the spaces in-between those.  And those.  To accept that surrendering is to give way to an infinite goodness.  Around every corner, in and through every dimension.  The structure that holds all, and then is far more vast than any definition that any structure gives to it.  Vast.

A hope

Hoping for good.  Hoping that the sun rises and shines on everything, all at once.  Hoping that there's not one place in the universe where the light doesn't reach.  So that all can be illuminated.  All can be brought into the great light.  All can touched, seen, shown.  And our mind too. That our minds would light up, fill with grace, overpour with grace.  Love to win the day.  To set everything free.  Our bodies to be our friends.  Our mind and bodies not at enmity, but are friends.  So that we relax.  Into great rest.  So our breath isn't laborious.  But first at ease, then breathed through.  So our breath becomes part of one bigger.  Our hearts no longer racing. But beating, effortlessly, and in beat with the energy that gives it beat.  Our steps no longer staggered.  Not laborious.  But with ease and freedom.  And then to be lifted off the ground into the greater movement.

Two Guitars

Guitar and Chimes

Breathe Freely

Hidden in Plain Sight

I looked out, sought relief.  I tried to climb the latter.  I've climbed and climbed, only to find that my latter is against the wrong wall.  Or maybe climbing is even the wrong exercise.

May I not just reinforce my pride.  I don't want failure.  But if weakness is exposed in me, may it be more to be given over to the Christ mystery?  Might my hopes be set on a power greater than me?

I want to happy all of the time.  I don't want to feel sad or uncomfortable.  But if I hold on to the notions of what I want to make me happy, might it keep from being held?  Might it keep me from true happiness?   Might it keep me from an eternal happiness, a happiness that is Universal and for everyone?

Loved.  I try and squirm and squish my way to happiness.  Trying to fill every crack with the promise of good times and contentment.  But the thing about having no more space, is that there is no space for something else.  If I'm a solid brick, where can the light shine through?  Yet I return to my scheming, to trying to build my tower, to try and make my mark.  Confusion.  Pain.

Could it be so simple?  Is the good news really good news?

Finally Ok

Listen with me.  What if we put our ear to the ground.  Will we hear anything?  Maybe it will takes us a sec to tune in.  But what if we're patient.  Resisting the desire to flee, resisting the restlessness trying to pull us from our meditative stance.  So we listen.  What was at first silence, becomes a hum.  The hum resonates with our very fiber of being, though we might not recognize this yet.  But we continue to listen.  The hum become a soft tune.  We start to feel relief.  Our desire to flee is also matched by an attraction to what we are being drawn to.  No we're in the middle, floating.  Between the busyness of our lives, and the rest we might have started to realize.  We're curious.  Now to flee feels less like a reaction, more like a choice we would have to make.  But we're drawn enough, enough attracted to this new stance that we stay, with our ear to the ground, with our heart turned toward what we are feeling.  It grows stronger.  Now we notice that we feel comfort.  Our worries fall into the background.  There is a newness to the way we feel, something fresh.  And even thought this newness seems tailored to us, we get the sense that we are being held by something universal.  Something that includes our own uniqueness, but also seems to be a comfort where anyone could rest.  This only increase our desire to be here.  Now we are ready.  We completely let go, being held.  And in this space, we are finally ok.