Transformation

I am posted a song entitled Transformation that I have written. I feel that all transformation is something that happens to us, not something that we can will on our own. I believe that to transform is to give up a false image of control we think we have over something. To try and control something is to be controlled by it. This is one thing about the contemplative mind that intrigues me, a mind that can view much of reality without feeling the need to pass judgement on anything. As a Christian, I believe that the battle is won, death has been swallowed up in victory, Jesus has risen! So my awakening to Christ is less of my willing myself into his arms, and more resting into the love already present. I believe it's an awakening of the soul, and awakening of God's image in us. I feel that we're more transformed more from the questions we ask, less from the demands we make. Personally, I fear being broken, of not having the answer, but it is precisely in these moments where my soul yearns for Christ. I hope you enjoy this song, I hope to continually write them as they open me up to a reality bigger than the one I currently perceive.

Rest

I desire rest from my work, a gospel that is truly significant for me and which I can rest into. I desire a gospel that can acknowledge my desire for grace and truth but that also deals kindly with my dark sides. I desire a gospel that is can handle my questions, my doubts, my concerns and my ignorance. I desire a gospel that accepts and uses my right and left side of my brain. I want science and poetry to both be viable to me, both be representative of the glory of God, so that I'm not forced to choose one or the other. I want to admit and acknowledge my passion for music, for the beauty of a guitar played well, for the honest expression of someone created in the image of God. I want to be open to learning from science, but also be able to behold the beauty of a sunset. I want both to be able to speak into my life, to praise God for both of them, and to not live in fear. I want my mind, heart, soul and body to all be open to revelation. As much as my mind wants to make sense of things and take over, I need to give the heart and body their proper ground, for God created them all. I believe that a gospel that doesn't work with each part of me isn't the true gospel. But it's a scary thing to sink down into the heart, body and soul. For when I do so the structure of my mind and brain are threatened. Lord, give me the courage to give you each part of me, to not fear what you've created in me. You spoke the world into motion, you gave women and men their voice, wove your image into them, why would I fear the questions we ask? What if doubt is a part of faith? What if moving toward what is is also moving away from what I think is? Lord, cover me with grace.

Lean into mystery

My first song I'm posting on my blog is about learning into mystery. I don't want to live only by what I can see, but by which beacons me, by which is eternal. I want to lean into mystery to expand my consciousness, to be lead into wider and deeper pasture. I believe that God is mystery, and to lean into him is to give up the familiar,to give up control. I want to be forever changed by a deep grace, by mercy within mercy within mercy. I don't want to cling to this world, but partake in beauty, eternal and good. I will certainly make mistakes on this journey, but there is a grace bigger than my mistakes. This is what I want to know. I want to be lost in mystery, so that judgment, fear and condemnation are lost to me. I don't want reactionary living, but for my mind to rest. I want to know there is a grace big enough for all my fear, for my darkest night. I don't want to be in a fight with reality, but to know reality as good. I hope you like this song.

Tri

I hope to post music I write onto this blog.  I will call my music project Tri.  Why, you might ask? Because the idea of Tri (three) defies duality.  I don't want to be an either or thinker, but a both and thinker.  I don't want to constantly be competing with others to come out first.  I want to believe that there is room enough on this earth for all of us.  I want my life to be more about invitation and less about trying to be right.  I want my compulsion to fix to end and for it to be enough for me to just be with people.  As a counselor, as a musician, as a believer in Jesus, I want pretense to fall from me.  I want to be open to beauty and art and the gift that each person has to offer.  I want to live from my true self, not an either or, split, or dual self.  I want bridges to be built for the isolated parts of me, to be one in love.  For the isolation is just an illusion, being and goodness are one. I also hope to be a bridge builder for others, so that we can meet on equal ground.

I want to be open to joy, to experience deeper and richer than I can now see.  I want to be open to revelation, to a place where body, mind and heart are all accepted.

One reason I like music is because it can promote honest expression, truth about the emotions we feel.  And I feel that somehow, in this honest expression, God is praised.  I choose the name Tri for my music project because I don't want to try and put music in a box, to not simply discharge my ideas, but to partake in beauty and creativity.  Tri helps me think in larger terms than either/or, larger than what I can comprehend.

Thank you for reading this blog, I hope to helpful to those on the path of finding true reality.

Intro

Hello, my name is Aaron.  The purpose of this blog is to open the mind, imagination and soul to new experience.  To see and feel that being and goodness is one and the same.  To celebrate life and to lay down and walk away from judgement and fear.  To open wide to love, to experience God and life as mercy within mercy within mercy.  To move towards honest expression and transparency.  To be naked before our God and experience him as good.  And in the arms of his embrace, to let all judgement, fear, gripping grudges and hate to fade.  My hope is that I am on the path of new experience, of opening my soul to something bigger then myself, of opening my mind and body to new reality, to have my mind, consciousness and view of God to always be expanding.  I hope to be walking a path of acceptance for all, of love and of ever increasing grace and mercy.  I hope to lose pretense and condemnation.  I hope to lose bitterness and regret.  I want to live!

I welcome you on this journey with me.  My hope isn't to move toward arriving but towards ever deepening understanding of and dependence on God.  I may be afraid at times to proceed, I may be tempted to pull back, to fear what God wants for me and to live in fear.  However, there is mercy even for this!  My hope for those reading this is that they will be encouraged to become their true self.  We are each created uniquely and each have our own thing to offer this world.