Rest

I desire rest from my work, a gospel that is truly significant for me and which I can rest into. I desire a gospel that can acknowledge my desire for grace and truth but that also deals kindly with my dark sides. I desire a gospel that is can handle my questions, my doubts, my concerns and my ignorance. I desire a gospel that accepts and uses my right and left side of my brain. I want science and poetry to both be viable to me, both be representative of the glory of God, so that I'm not forced to choose one or the other. I want to admit and acknowledge my passion for music, for the beauty of a guitar played well, for the honest expression of someone created in the image of God. I want to be open to learning from science, but also be able to behold the beauty of a sunset. I want both to be able to speak into my life, to praise God for both of them, and to not live in fear. I want my mind, heart, soul and body to all be open to revelation. As much as my mind wants to make sense of things and take over, I need to give the heart and body their proper ground, for God created them all. I believe that a gospel that doesn't work with each part of me isn't the true gospel. But it's a scary thing to sink down into the heart, body and soul. For when I do so the structure of my mind and brain are threatened. Lord, give me the courage to give you each part of me, to not fear what you've created in me. You spoke the world into motion, you gave women and men their voice, wove your image into them, why would I fear the questions we ask? What if doubt is a part of faith? What if moving toward what is is also moving away from what I think is? Lord, cover me with grace.