Letting go

Help me to let go of all.  This plan.  That plan.  Swaying this way.  Swaying that way.  Running with this idea.  Running with that idea.  Help me to finally surrender.  I try and know what's best for me, but what is best for me is you.  Maybe I have my pockets and nooks and crannies that I try and keep for myself.  Fill them all with you.  I assert my independence when what I need is dependence on you.

Better than any thought.  Better than any plan.  Beyond any dream.  Relevant to this time and age.  My scheming.  My planning.  My bitterness.  My grudges.  My coming up short.  My comforts.  All the things I do to be apart from you, to assert my independence, to try and be different, to try and be unique, to try and be on my own.

Swallow it up in your grace.  However many times I've asserted myself instead of trusting you, forgive me.  Let the present and future be different.  Wash me white as snow.  Forgive my sin.

I waver.  I teater.  I wonder.  I fear. 

I am certainly in need.

Of......

Your grace.

Take me over.  Wash me in you joy.  Take apart my world and build it how you desire.  Sit alone on the throne of my heart, of my mind, of my being.  Be my everything, my morning, my day, my evening.  The Alpha, the Omega.  Be more real to me than the couch I sit on.  Envelope me in mercy, compassion.  Be my song.

My only.