I'm sorry for your pain. It is yours and only yours. No one else can claim it, you will deal with it in a way that is uniquely you. Even if all feels like rhythm and pattern, even if your mouth is shut and your soul feels dry, there is One who is listening. He is hurting with you. Do not fear your sensitivity. Do not wish it away, feel your pain. Know you are held in it, and that through the jaws of the dragon, on the other side of death is rebirth. Rebirth into new life. Life not before seen.
Know that your unique way of holding the pain is unique to the universe and the story being written through time and space. It matters. Your pain matters. Your tears are not empty, even if they feel that way. If you've felt like death more than life, One feels your pain. My friend, your pain is not your enemy, it does not cover you in darkness never again to be found. The pain has its end. Emptiness is only a shadow of the light. Bitterness only beholds one angle of the truth. Hope may be closer than you think. Don't look abroad, to the newest teaching or the newest path of ascent. It's deep in your soul. In the place where flesh and spirit become one. There is your home. There is your rest. You need not be someone else. Accept yourself, for you are accepted. Walk down the thousand latter of your life and shake hands with the naked and bare self.
Help me to see. Open my mouth and heart. Have my pride. Have my entangled, estranged self. Let me not travel to a polarity, give me the strength to bear in myself what I do not yet know. Have my chains, that shackle my heart, and seek to put to death my creativity.
Help me to not judge, have my broken being, help me to settle into the Ground Of Being.
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