Freedom in God

I look up, and see the grace coming from the horizon, I know not how to respond, "What must I do?  What should I say?  How should I be?"  But these fall flat, they don't seem to get to the heart of it.  As the grace gets closer, by body responds, almost as if it has a mind of its own.  It fuzzes, stirs, writhes, and even groans.  It's as if my body knew it was coming more than I, it's as if my body knows how to respond more than my mind does.  The colors grow, is this a sunrise, yes, but more.  It changes not only the sky, but the ground, the surface, deep and wide it comes, changing the physical, but also the abstract and the ideal seem to be changing to.

Am I to trust my body?  Is this my spirit, or my soul speaking into the physicality of who I am?  What if I'm wrong?  What if there is more I must do?  What if I'm misunderstood?  Or, what if I am to give way to it, what would be on the other side.  It seems the horizon offers the dancing light that seems to be growing, possibly all consuming, but it seems that it is up to me to let it consume me.  My startle response says "Run!  Hide!  You're not ready!  You're not good enough!"  But my soul says, "Stay.  Let it take effect.  Let beauty rise.  This is mystery, where given and taken are one, where duality fails and all becomes united.  Which will I listen to, my mind, or the inner voice, soft, yet peaceful.

I know I've shrunken back in fear before.  Tried a thousand plans in a thousand ways to earn it on my own.  As much as they seem promising, the come to disappointment.  I've seen this, I've experienced this.  Therefore in the present, this time around, I will remain present.  I will stay in the now.  I will trust the inner voice.  I will let my body continue on the path of rejoicing.  The inner voice and the broadening horizon seem to be saying the same thing, even becoming one.  Now, where what started with a recognition of my body, it seems my soul and spirit are coming to the surface as well.  Maybe it's  not as fragmented as I had previously thought.  Maybe I didn't need to go to that place to work out my mind, this place to work out my spirit, over there to refresh my soul.  No, the seem to be moving more and more in union.  They are now dancing to the rhythms of the color, of the horizon.  Even my mind seems to be giving way to the flow.  Is this joy?  Is this union?  It's different then before, less me trying to assert myself, more me realizing that Jesus has been here all along.  My soul dances with him.  My body finds its rest in home.  My heart and soul find their rest in him.  All that once was separated is now one, all working together, all I tried to hold back now moves to the rhythm of the universe, it even moves to the spoken love of God.  And somehow I know that this eternal beauty, will never end, but that it will be shown as higher and deeper than my desires could ever know, and therefore will carry on its waves forever.  Thank you.