Hidden in Plain Sight

I looked out, sought relief.  I tried to climb the latter.  I've climbed and climbed, only to find that my latter is against the wrong wall.  Or maybe climbing is even the wrong exercise.

May I not just reinforce my pride.  I don't want failure.  But if weakness is exposed in me, may it be more to be given over to the Christ mystery?  Might my hopes be set on a power greater than me?

I want to happy all of the time.  I don't want to feel sad or uncomfortable.  But if I hold on to the notions of what I want to make me happy, might it keep from being held?  Might it keep me from true happiness?   Might it keep me from an eternal happiness, a happiness that is Universal and for everyone?

Loved.  I try and squirm and squish my way to happiness.  Trying to fill every crack with the promise of good times and contentment.  But the thing about having no more space, is that there is no space for something else.  If I'm a solid brick, where can the light shine through?  Yet I return to my scheming, to trying to build my tower, to try and make my mark.  Confusion.  Pain.

Could it be so simple?  Is the good news really good news?

Finally Ok

Listen with me.  What if we put our ear to the ground.  Will we hear anything?  Maybe it will takes us a sec to tune in.  But what if we're patient.  Resisting the desire to flee, resisting the restlessness trying to pull us from our meditative stance.  So we listen.  What was at first silence, becomes a hum.  The hum resonates with our very fiber of being, though we might not recognize this yet.  But we continue to listen.  The hum become a soft tune.  We start to feel relief.  Our desire to flee is also matched by an attraction to what we are being drawn to.  No we're in the middle, floating.  Between the busyness of our lives, and the rest we might have started to realize.  We're curious.  Now to flee feels less like a reaction, more like a choice we would have to make.  But we're drawn enough, enough attracted to this new stance that we stay, with our ear to the ground, with our heart turned toward what we are feeling.  It grows stronger.  Now we notice that we feel comfort.  Our worries fall into the background.  There is a newness to the way we feel, something fresh.  And even thought this newness seems tailored to us, we get the sense that we are being held by something universal.  Something that includes our own uniqueness, but also seems to be a comfort where anyone could rest.  This only increase our desire to be here.  Now we are ready.  We completely let go, being held.  And in this space, we are finally ok.