Alive

I am awake with the light. The light dawns over dreariness, into our open hearts. We crave the light, it guides us into the realm of matter and energy, a place only dreamt about on this side of eternity. Our creativity flows from it, eats when not spoken, desires to shout across the galaxies. In the wine of our emotions we know there is more. A flower from a seed, a need from a broken person, a well from the shore. We are here, there you are, little between us, in fact, we are together, we are one. Our differences are shadows and film, they only seek to lie. My brothers, my sisters, let us let down our drowning points, and be found naked and free. Unashamed, in the glory of the One who holds the glory. Trample down the dividing wall, the curtain is torn, now tear the curtains in our hearts, in our living rooms, across nations and glory. For we seek the same, we are part of the same, we are nearer to Heart than we think, and the Heart is yours, the Heart is mine. I lie awake, weak from weariness, drunk from tears. I need not tell my story, it's one you've heard a thousand times. But somehow, there is an originality, a newness of form, a calmness of soul. Where I am, where I've gone, into tirelessness, dreams and drudge. But the originality speaks to me, the light shone, the angels sang, and there I was, touched, tears freely flowing, finally knowing as I was known. The realm of the heavens opened up my tight locked head, my cries were heard! My heart loved! My selfhood delighted in! Let crayons and all before lay beyond, for I am found, I am held, I am vulnerable, my troubled heart has found a friend. This friend doesn't overwhelm me, my smoldering wick he lightly nourishes, my broken spirit he gently holds, and this holding is enough, somehow my soul knows not to move, not to fight, not to tear away, only to rest. Necessity is no longer the name of the game, in fact, it's no longer a game. It's a loving gaze, going out and returning at the same time. Its a transcendent action, both done, sustained and completed at the same time. No longer will I lie in pity, no longer will all I do be colorless, no more can my story be the same. The one that joined is also the one who freed, the one that made all one also gave me my name. My blood now flows through his story, my blood now joins the cells of those gone before, we are together, we are one. The blood and transgression were only temporary, the eternity now is shown.

Song about Mystery

Hurt Healers

Here's a song entitled hurt healers.

Through It All

Here's a song entitled through it all.  Through it all, we are held, we are watched, we are loved.

Adleigh Joy

Here's a song I wrote for my unborn daughter.  Adleigh, I hope your life is full of joy and laughter.  I hope you live a deep, rich and meaningful life, and I want to be there to catch any tears you may cry.

Surrender

Here's a song I've written entitled surrender. Life is a surrender to something bigger, a falling into a deeper love. We need not work for it, only accept it. It's waiting for us, in a way we never thought, in a way that knows us personally and delights in us.

On the other side of suffering

On the other side of suffering, lies a great joy.  This joy cannot be silenced, it calls out from the roof tops, from the mountains, it is deeper than the seas, more expansive than the heaves.  Nothing can stop this joy, it pours, it calls, it ripens, it deepens, it makes more rich.  The call is for you, is for me, it all points to the hopeful future we are all called to.  To when our pain gives way to comfort, to when our mental gymnastics give way to peace, to where our home lies, beyond the silver planes, beyond the doubts of fortitude, beyond the highways and interstates we may find ourselves strewn across.  The hope rises above the mountains, makes its way into the babies' hearts, is found where unexpected, is present even when we don't seek it.

In humility, holy Father, help me to accept your love.  Help me to see that you see me through eyes of love, through eyes of peace, through eyes of grace.  Be my only goal, my hearts song, let praise flow from me.  Lift me from the dark night, let my mind finally rest.  Help me to not fight myself anymore, let me find rest from my struggles.  You see them, you know them, have them.  Help my life to be filled with your passion, help me to see each day as gift.  Help me to not fear your embrace.  Clean me from the inside out, let my body and heart and mind finally work together.  Help my present, future and past finally work together.  Let me not be at enmity with myself, with others.  Help your presence to be my story, let it so fill my life that I desire nothing else.  Be to me my all, my love, my hope.  I seek you in my desperation, in my hope, in my confusion, in my tightness, with my gloom.  Be near to me, nearer than my own heart, nearer than my songs, nearer than my prayers.  Be before jobs, fear, complacency, bitterness, let no bitter root grow up in me.  Help me to see me how you do, to see others how you do, to love you Jesus.  Have this struggle, my sexuality, my vision, my grief and sadness.  Have mercy on me a sinner, have mercy on me a sinner.  Be welcome in my heart, be welcome in my present.  I cast all my worries upon you, I cast all my fear to you, I cast all my apprehension to you, I call upon you, help me to seek you today, tomorrow, forever.