Laughter drinks em dry

I took things so seriously.  Everything was of the upmost import.  Duty.  Honor.  Stale buildings, grey skies.  The dear and antelope became just animals.  The mathematical equation I used to scale things up now has been my template for every situation, my processing tool to the death of creativity.

Laugh Aaron, laugh.  It's ok.  There is One who cares before the foundation of the world, whose care will continue after I'm dead.  It's held.  Don't take burdens that were never yours to carry.  Love exists, it's the strongest force.  The beginning is good, it's going to a good place.  Laugh, be merry, let joy do its work.

But I worry.  I fear.  I shake, I get nervous.  Will my shoulders shoulder the day?  Will I be able to maintain?  Should I expect good or bad from the day?

Laugh Aaron, laugh.  It's ok.  Goodness has already been, is, and will be.  Don't take yourself too seriously, don't contribute to your own death.  Life was, is, and will be.  Give way to the cosmic dance.  Don't fight the nature of things.  Life and death shall happen, don't fear them.  Just dance.  There is one who holds all, and he is good.  His goodness is the lifeblood of all that ever has been and will be.  Trust, and...Laugh.

A light

A light dawns across the sky, inviting all, loving all.  The aurora borealis of time and history floods the dawns sky until we all see, until we all believe, until we all have hope, until we are all flooded with life.  A light that once flickered in the corner of our hearts is now fully realized in the sky, enveloping all, engulfing all, filling all.  Once we were alone, now we are found.

The light shines through time and space, through stars and galaxies, on the scale of the universe, one the scale of atoms.  From above, from beneath, it falls down, it wells up.

What has been given birth?  The hope of the nations.  The fulfillment of time and eternity.  A well of life giving water that runs deeper than blood, deeper the the deepest ocean.  Carrying with it all the love the universe has ever known, carrying on its back, giving birth to more love in its wake.  Calling forth love from behind and before.  Uniting us to our hearts and minds, joining the dispersed parts of ourselves, calling all, scooping us from our darkness, holding us, instilling in us creative life, and life yet to be realized.

The stars are honored to be passed by, the reflect the beauty.  The come to life with dance and song, joining the chorus.

The light that was once in our dreams, a distant hope in the unconscious, a fresh idea that at times found us in our lives, now has become reality.  The truest reality.  The ground of being.  Before and beyond.

It's come to life, the one yearning to hold us ever since we gave our first breath.  Who knew us in the womb.  Who called being to being.  The clouds are swirled up in the motion.  The mountains eager expectation is realized.  The youth feel understood and the elders that their lives had meaning.  The Alpha and Omega soaring across the skies of the universe, enlivening all.

Letting go

Help me to let go of all.  This plan.  That plan.  Swaying this way.  Swaying that way.  Running with this idea.  Running with that idea.  Help me to finally surrender.  I try and know what's best for me, but what is best for me is you.  Maybe I have my pockets and nooks and crannies that I try and keep for myself.  Fill them all with you.  I assert my independence when what I need is dependence on you.

Better than any thought.  Better than any plan.  Beyond any dream.  Relevant to this time and age.  My scheming.  My planning.  My bitterness.  My grudges.  My coming up short.  My comforts.  All the things I do to be apart from you, to assert my independence, to try and be different, to try and be unique, to try and be on my own.

Swallow it up in your grace.  However many times I've asserted myself instead of trusting you, forgive me.  Let the present and future be different.  Wash me white as snow.  Forgive my sin.

I waver.  I teater.  I wonder.  I fear. 

I am certainly in need.

Of......

Your grace.

Take me over.  Wash me in you joy.  Take apart my world and build it how you desire.  Sit alone on the throne of my heart, of my mind, of my being.  Be my everything, my morning, my day, my evening.  The Alpha, the Omega.  Be more real to me than the couch I sit on.  Envelope me in mercy, compassion.  Be my song.

My only.

Only One

Only One.  Yet this One is composed of three.  When all else falls out from beneath, the One remains.    Perfect relationship.  Perfect giving and receiving.  Perfect union.

When all else looses its voice, One will still sing.  At the end of time, One invites all into eternity.  One started it all, it's all heading toward One.  All else changes, the One is eternally the same, yet eternally new to us all.

One is victorious.  Now One calls out wisdom through eternity, seeking others to join in on the call.  Seeking others to be swept up in its flow.

One is the answer.  Yet One is patient with all the questions.  One is kind, always kind.  From One kindness comes forth, a kindness that wants to know everything in existence, or, to be known by everything in existence as the One already knows.

One is the path, yet One doesn't want any of our paths to look the same.  One calls us forth, yet accepts right where we are.  One is the leader, yet One doesn't seek conformity.  One wants all of us to grow in love, yet doesn't withhold its eternal love from us all, no matter what.

We all are united in One.  Yet One celebrates our differences.  One holds all together, yet doesn't force itself upon us.  It One's self,  pure relationship, freely receiving, but not holding onto, letting what is freely received be freely given, only to receive back.  It needs not claim its own, it is fulfilled in it's perfect union with self, in the perfect flow of giving and receiving.

Let me realize, awaken to, fall into, grow in, submit to, receive, be in the flow of, give all for, give all to, become more like, be changed by, fall deeply in love with, One.

Mercy

From my anguish.  To the heavens.  From my confusion.  From my plans.  From my worry.  From helplessness.  From nothingness.  From self hate.  From this struggle.

Let mercy cry out from the top of the highest mountain.  Let it pour out from above.  Let it spring up from beneath.  Let us be lost in it forever.  No more need for classifications.  No desire to divide.  No more us and them.  Only one.

Engulf us.  Let not misery be out companion.  Purge my emptiness.  Let there be a clear path for you into my heart.  Remove the blocks.  Remove my securities, my divisive nature, my classification, my negativity.  Flow freely in and through me.  May I be caught up in the tide and flow that knows no end.  Let my mind be drawn by that which it can't wrap itself around.  Be more real to me than the chair I'm sitting on.  Let me be a spiritual being having a human experience.  Let there be one reality. Let us all be included.  Forgive my divisive nature.

Mercy.  The war is beyond me.  It is mercy's war.  And mercy has already won.  It never had a rival.  It shines on through the generations, both being shouted from the rooftops and whispered between from the spaces in between.

I paint on my strongest face, only to realize it's not my strength that counts.

Light

A light to run away.  What is on the other side?  Light.  What is around the corner?  Light.  What is underneath?  Light.  

The light shines the darkness.  And the darkness cannot overcome it.  

Before my bitterness was light.  Before my plans was light.  Before my shurities was light.  Before my wondering and questions was light.  Before death and dying was light.  

We need not just endure.  We are called to proclaim, to live into, that which is the truest.  Light.  It's the deepest well.  An endless well.  It's where we are born.  It's where everything is headed.  Let us not fight the natural order of things.

For free

It's for free.  What if the greatest gift is one we've already received.  There is no prerequisite for it.  There is no test.  There is no grading system.  Whether or not you deserve it isn't even a question.

Its answer is "yes."  Its answer is "of course."  It shouts, "both/and."

Birthed from the One that had no birth.  Born of the One who was not conceived.

Freedom lives with the One who has given himself over to us.

For free.  I must lay down arms.  I cannot fight for this.  The battle is already won.  I cannot compete for this.  We all win.  I cannot think my way in.  Rather I must unlearn my defenses.  I must surrender to that which was, and is and will be.

Words born from silence.  Silence born from love.  Love born from Trinity.  Trinity in a perfect self emptying and receiving dance.  Setting the tone for the atoms.  Drumming out the beat which calls us all to dance.

So let us dance.