Not one, but not the other. Somewhere in-between? Or something else entirely? I reach for one, to fall. I reach for the other, to fall. Polarities seem to be my downfall. Am I on the left or the right? Am I good or bad? Is the universe friendly or a cold dark place, or worse, hostile.
When I seek for answers by staring them in the faces, I get nowhere, rather, I get frustrated.
What if....What if all are part of the story. What if each polarity reflects a part of the truth. I don't want to climb a latter the entirety of my life to find it was leaning against the wrong, or one, building. I don't want to be numb to learning from others different than me.
It is true, I have sought comfort and security from the poles. If only I could pitch my tent there, and everything would go right. I must let go of this notion, this lie that promises comfort only to breed hate. In this place, I feel a sense of power, but it deceives me. For I thought I could control it. I thought I sat upon it like a race horse or a tank, which I could steer to do my bidding. I thought it had my best interest in mind, but it used me as a spoke on a wheel, a while spinning in the concrete, both going nowhere and towards nothingness.
Step back. Breathe. If the answers aren't in the poles, where are they. Maybe in that we need not comb the ends of the earth to seek our truth, rather rest in that the truth is already present, already self sufficient. I need not look among the stars, it's not in a celebration of polarity or autonomy, but an acceptance and surrender to that which is normal, that which is the true Reality. The Reality that is holding each of us, asking us to let the chaff die, so that it can be reborn into a bigger and more inclusive expanse. Thus participating in a truth already present, not sought by defining our differences, by seeking polarity. Not building a latter to climb to the highest reaches of my mind, but rather feeling the earth beneath my feet, and realizing that the sacred has always been present. It's been holding me much more than I've been seeking it. In my seeking, I have become distracted from its basic principles, and its mystery embedded in the ordinary.
In this type of universe, my ascension is needed, not building my towers and walls, protecting what's "mine," reaching the "pinnacle," striving to get ahead or be one up. It's not in a self constructed life. Rather, it's in a dying of all of this, to be reborn to the true gratification. Death and life. It's in my death that I am met. And here, my effort means nothing. Rather, it's in my nothingness where I am held, in a boundless and spacious place. And here, we are all on equal ground, because we are all held by the One. It's His power that does the changing, I must simply basque in the sunlight.
Stop. Breathe. Awake. Love.