Oh, carry me. I am lost without you. I need your love, your grace, your healing. Help me to let go of my bitterness, of the sullen ways in which I have invested, towards self degradation. Help to to surrender all, even the things I take pride in, the things with which I call it a successful day. I am broken, I need your help. Carry me through my negative patterns, when I choose bitterness or hopelessness, when I don't look past my own self neglect. Carry me beyond my doubt, beyond obstacles in which I torment myself with repetitive patterns. Let your love penetrate my thick shell. I desire fluidity, I desire pure water, for my drought ridden mouth to taste pure water and be satisfied. My crumbs have not filled me, my unhealthy dinner has not satisfied, my over-pouring dessert have let me wanting and alone. I desire to be found, to be one. Let not my bad dreams come to fruition. Let not my deja-vu's hold the last say. I desire you, here, in the moment, so I don't need to fight this darkness alone. I feel so lost, so broken, so fragmented, that only you can restore me. Let not this wanting be my final state. Please bring about new flowers, spring rains, so that life can restore peace, so that I taste the promise land, that the Maker can call me by name. Let summer shine, in my heart and mind, so that peace may be my friend, so that I see you everywhere I turn, so that grace my be my companion, so that help and love may be known to me. Let your freedom be in me, outside of me, in the space between. When I move forward, sink back, or find the space between, let me find you there, full of grace and truth. Let me but bow at your feet, partake in your joy, celebrate in your hope, be realized just as you realize me. My home, my true home, that, even when I don't feel it, shines brighter than the hopelessness that tries to have me succumb.
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